The big C is a horrible disease. A good friend succumbed to this disease after being under under hospice care. He left our world very quickly, his diagnosis was first mentioned last fall and now he is gone. Words are not adequate for how I feel and with trying to express all the feelings I have for him and his wife, both I consider good friends. His wife of 55 years is battling her own health issues and is very confused at times.
I do feel that "T" made up his mind, that his time was over and not to linger. Almost as if he was willing himself to die. The little bit of time he had left to share with family and friends, he was a very different person than his "living" self was. Normally he'd be very communicative and receptive, but after the diagnosis, he seemed different. He was just as gentleman like, but seemed to be very reserved, so that I feel like we lost part of him even then.
I hope I never have to experience a disease like that close to my life again, all the while realizing that I know I will. Psychologically, there are many different aspects of one's own demise. So when trying to assist someone, without trying to subject them with your own views, is a very difficult position to hold with grace. Trying to allow their dignity to stand on it's own, yet hope they realize that caring and love is offered and extended in what ever manner they need. My thoughts are many, and as you can see by my tortured english phrases, I really am having a hard time in trying to articulate all that I feel.
With Belief in the ever after, I remain